


I Like You The Way You Are

by Beezwithknees



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Bisexual Bill Denbrough, Gay Stanley Uris, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Movie: IT (2017), Sassy Stanley Uris
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 07:27:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25346944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beezwithknees/pseuds/Beezwithknees
Summary: This was a double up story I did. I wrote the first half which is about Stan and Bill in their early years. Right after IT up until they move. I may or may not add my friends part, which is about them aged up. It depends if they'll let me. As for now, have this! Thanks.
Relationships: Bill Denbrough & Stanley Uris, Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19
Collections: Stenbrough





	I Like You The Way You Are

Stanley and Bill, Bill and Stanley. The two boys were best of friends. Meaning they often did a lot of things together. They'd go for bike rides together. Study together. Or just, hang out. The two boys just seemed to grow closer after the incidents with IT.

IT was tragic and traumatizing for all of the Losers. None of them brought it up, not even the unfiltered Richie Tozier. It was left unsaid and if one of them brought up an issue without context they'd stare at one another with a look of fear. Color disappearing from their faces. Eyes wide and eyebrows creased in worry. Scared that IT might be back, but that pit in their stomach. That empty feeling. It would often leave right after the situation was explained and they found it wasn't about IT.

As for Stanley, he still thought about it. Every night, and like Bill. He had a physical reminder. Those scars that were left around his face. Still stinging his face with ghost pains. He'd often find himself crying. Tears staining his face. Fear and pain coursing his body. His hands would get clammy and sweaty. Often sobbing quietly in his bathroom unless home alone. They that's when it would really hit him. 

That fear of being forgotten, left alone. Stanley despised that. He never wanted that to happen to him, though he's afraid it would happen. Be alone and without anyone. Just seem as a Jew that was supposed to be happy. Because nothing bad ever happened to him, so why should he be sad? 

His chest would tighten and he would practically cough up sobs. Trembling as he rested on his hands and knees on the floor. He couldn't help but cry. That's all he knew what to do anymore. There were times where Stanley would forget who he was. Why he was there. What was the meaning of life when no one was safe. When kids have to kill a fucking demon clown and pretend nothing happened. Because if he were to say anything. He knew the moment the word 'demon' and 'killer clown' slipped out of his mouth. He would be shipped off. Sent to a loony bin. Even if he just mentioned the name 'Bill Denbrough,' he would get scolded. Ah, Bill Denbrough. A friend, yet despised by his parents. 

For Bill was the reason why Stanley often missed his curfew over the summer. Why he was gone for nearly 24 hours. Why he had those scars. Why he was having a panic attack on his bathroom floor. But that wasn't what he thought about Bill. 

Bill was a hero in Stans eyes. So brave, so handsome. He was funny too. Not the sick, gross type of funny Richie was. The genuine, happy, sweet kind of funny. He could bring smiles to Stanley. Genuine smiles, and Bill's smiles. They would make him smile more. Give him butterflies. Make his mind wonder why he felt that way only around the Auburn haired leader. Why he felt so.. So special around him. 

Bill was traumatized as well, but he expressed it in other ways. He didn't scream and cry like Stanley would. He'd completely shut down, and his parents. They'd understand if they actually attention to their now only, and grieving son. His physical reminder was Georgie. He would pass his room and peak in. Chest aching. Breath catching in his throat. His eyes would sting as he looked over the Toy's and room. Soon finding himself in his younger brothers room. 

Bill would spend some nights just sitting on Georgies bed. Tears falling from his eyes and rolling down his cheeks. Apologies and words of guilt rolling out of his mouth. "I'm suh-sss-so sorry. I-I-I should h-ha-hah-have been a better bruh-bruh-brot-brother." He'd cry out. Because that's all he was, was a horrible big brother. I mean, what brother would allow their little brother to go outside by themselves? Especially in the rain? A horrible one. That's what. No matter how many people told poor Bill Denbrough it was not his fault. He wouldn't listen. He'd nod his head and say he knew, but he didn't really. He still carried that guilt and blame. 

His parents were no help. Unlike Stans, he could tell them about his pain and they should listen. Should send him to a counselor! Because Bill Denbrough lost his little brother! It wasn't just a stupid clown that was traumatizing him. It was the fact he wasn't being a good brother. That he was no longer a brother. He was now an only child, with memories of another life, and parents that ignored and yelled at him. "He's dead! He's not coming back!" His father would often scream. Mother downing wine bottle after wine bottle. Bill having no form of outlet besides writing, which often rarely helped. 

Bill had though about smoking a few times. Hearing it helped relieved stress. Tempted to ask Beverly for a cigarette, but always backed out. He knew it wouldn't help, it would only make things worse. Stan had thought the same way, but he knew if his parents even caught a wiff of that smoke. He'd be sent off to Therapy for months. 

A couple years after that summer the Losers slowly forgot. Besides Stan and Bill. The other Losers also started moving, but Stan and Bill were still there by their Junior years of highschool. Making them both 16 or 17. 

Bill was able to drive now. He would take Stan, and occasionally Mike to the Quarry. The male would park the truck into a cove. A place the trees surrounded that they found peaceful. Bill would often just take Stanley though, since Stan and him often went their to study. It was a one time thing back in Sophomore year between Stan and Bill. Yet, the moment they got out there. They knew this was their new hideaway. A place to escape the others in Derry. 

Stanley didn't really care when Bill invited Mike out, he was there friend after all. Yet, Stanley disliked his company. It wasn't anything Mike did. Stan just, he wanted to just be around Bill. 

After the hangouts became more common Bill would bring snacks. Other activities to do. Even his own pair of binoculars or a sketch book. So the two could birdwatch and Bill could sketch a bird or two for the other boy. Always smiling brightly in return to the others sheepish grins and light blushes when Bill would give them to him. The two were almost like a couple at this point, yet not, because that was forbidden in Derry. If word of two boys dating got out, jeez, they may as well be two dead men walking. 

Bill didn't really care though. He knew what he was, what he liked. He liked anyone with a pretty smile and a kind personality. That's why he and Bev fell through that summer. Not only did she move. She just, she wasn't as nice as he wanted someone to be. She was reckless, and did things Bill couldn't do with her. 

Stanley on the other hand, he had everything Bill was looking for, plus they shared the same trauma. So they were able to help one another cope. Often times they'd sit in the bed of his pickup. Bill either resting his head in Stans lap while Stan played with his hair. Or Stanley sitting in his lap, back against his chest while they either stayed quiet or Stanley rambled on about different birds that flew by. That never ceased to make Bill smile. 

What the two had was like unspoken love. Something the two never brought up, but they both knew about.

It wasn't just there they were close either. Late nights that Stanley was home alone and feeling that same sense of pain he always did, he would call Bill before it got too bad. It took Bill telling Stanley it was okay to call a few times, but he soon got it embedded in Stans head that Bill wouldn't judge him. That Bill would drop everything to come running to Stan like an obedient dog and hold him until he felt safe.

Bill would climb through his window and sneak out. Walking, sometimes even running if he sounded real bad. He never drove though, afraid he'd wake up his parents and get grounded. Once to the other boys home he'd take the key given to him by the other, unlock the door, and slip inside. Locking it behind him and removing his shoes so Stans parents wouldn't question the dirt on their tidy floors. 

He'd run up the stairs and call out for the others name, making sure he knew what room he was in and where he needed to go. Often times finding him just in his bed, but on bad days. Those were the nights he was crying on the bathroom floor like he did two or three years prior. 

Bill would lie on the bed with him. Or either hold him on the floor, calm him down, and then ask if he wanted to go to the bed. Which he often did. The two would hold onto one another in a hug. Often times Stanley lying ontop of Bill. Ear pressed against his chest. Listening to his breathing and his heart beat. It always relaxed him enough so he could start talking. Tell him about his dream, or his day. Whether he wanted to talk about what set off his anxiety Bill left that for him. Stan would always fall asleep in Bill's arms, and wake up to Bill gone. He hated that he left while he was asleep. Sometimes he wondered if he just imagined Bill being there, but he understood. He knew if Stans parents saw them in an embrace, or Bill over in general they'd throw a huge fit. That and if Bill's parents found out he ran off to Stans in the middle of the night he'd get in trouble as well. So Stanley understood. He just wished he could wake up next to Bill. Still in his warm embrace instead of cold and alone. Like he always was. 

One of Stanley's bad nights was when it happened. Bill rushed over and saw him lying on the floor instead of sitting against the wall like he often did. Bill was scared, he couldn't move for a second. "Stan-" he breathed out. Was he dead? Sure, Bill knew the other male was suicidal. Or he at least assumed so, but he didn't think he would call just to let Bill find his body. That wasn't Stan. "What Bill.." he murmured, causing Bill to release a breath he didn't know he was holding in. 

Bill moved over to the other, sitting on the floor next to him. Reaching out to touch the others shoulder. Shocked when he flinched. He barely ever flinched at his touch. He only did when Bill pissed him off, but Bill hadn't done anything to upset the other as of lately. "I saw you.." he murmured, Bill listening closely. Heart aching when he heard the others voice crack. "I saw you kissing Bev.. The day of the.. The oath." Bill was shocked, that was nearly three years ago. Jesus, Bill had nearly forgotten about it. Hand resting on Stans shoulder. 

"Ye-yeah?" He murmured, "Wh-wha-whhhat about it?" Bill added, rubbing the others shoulder a bit. Watching him carefully. "Yu-you don't.." Stan started in. Voice shakey and breathing hitched. Bill felt almost guilty, Stan liked Bev didn't he? That had to be what this was about. "What am I to you?" Stan blurted. Sitting and then standing from the bathroom floor. Bill looking up to him in shock. He wasn't sure how to respond. He was clueless. 

Stanley sighed, obviously agitated and Bill couldn't help but purse his lips and crease his brows. Standing and following the other. "Stan, wh-wha-whu-wh-whhat do you mean?" He asked. "How do you feel about me Bill! It's not to fucking hard to tell me!" He snapped, turning to face Bill. Stanley's expression softened a bit. Looking to Bill with an apologetic look. He didn't mean to snap like that, and he was full of regret now. Seeing Bill's frown and his saddened state. "Bill I-" "Ih-it's fuh-fff-ffine." He stuttered, glancing down. Hands tapping at his thighs. "I juh-just.. If I would've kn-kno-known you were just guh-going to yell at me, fuh-ffor not und-under-understanding something, I would ha-have stayed home." Bill added, not even looking up to see what the other showed on his face. He just turned and headed for the door. 

"Bill, wait! I didn't mean to, I'm sorry, please, don't go.." Stanley spoke, begging the other to stay. More tears falling from his eyes, but Bill did stop. Which was the Denbrough teens mistake. Turning to look at the other boy and he saw how upset he looked too. A sharp sigh escaping his nostrils. He hated how easily the other could get him to do things even when upset. "Luh-let me just guh-ggg-get some tea for uh-us. Let buh-bo-both of us calm down, and th-thhe-then we can continue the con-cuh-conversation." He added with a small, nearly forced smile. Stanley nodding and agreed. Retreating to his room while Bill went downstairs to make some tea. 

Stanley used this time to think up what to say to the other. Clear his thoughts, meditate for a moment to calm himself so he didn't end up screaming at Bill again. That's not what he wanted from the conversation. Stanley wasn't even sure what he wanted as an answer. He really just wanted it to be over. For them to go back how it was, but Stanley couldn't let the good things slide. He never could. He always had to complicate things. 

Bill on the other hand used this time to think up an answer while he made them some tea. Sitting in a chair, arms crossed on the table while his chin rested on his arms. He wasn't sure how to answer it. What Stanley wanted to hear. He barely knew the answer to what they were. "Fuck-" he muttered, hiding his face in his arms. He felt stupid, like he should know the answer. He knew the two were friends, that was for sure, but, they did more than friend things a lot. Friends didn't cuddle, friends didn't play with eachothers hair. Friends didn't fall asleep on one anothers chest. 

Bill only had his opinions, not what they really were, but he figured that would have to do. So he took the finished cups of tea and headed upstairs. 

Stanley stood off his bed when the other came in with the tea. Greeting him with a sympathetic smile. A smile that showed Bill he was sorry and that he didn't mean to snap. Bill flashing one back as he handed over the tea. Both rambling at once. "I kn-know what-" "I meant-" "yuh-you first" "no you it's fine, I already asked my question." Stanley told Bill and Bill nodded. The two sat on the end of the bed next to eachother. Bill trying to think of how to phrase his words. 

"Stuh-Stan.. I duh-do-don't know what we are." He admitted. Rubbing the pads of his fingers over the side of the mug. Stanley staring over at the other with a worried gaze. He fucked up with the question, hadn't he? "I.. I kn-know we-wuh-we-we're friends." Bill added, and Stanley's heart sunk. Friends. That's all they ever would be, and he figured Bill would stop there, but he didn't. "But," that word gave Stanley hope. Watching as Bill took his own and then Stanley's mug of tea. Setting it on the end table. 

Bill turned a bit to face Stanley. Face a bit pale, he almost looked scared. "I wuh-wouldn't mind.. huh-have-having well, buh-being more, th-than fuh-fr-fri-fr-" Bill sighed, growing agitated with his stutter. Both of their faces flushed red. Stanley didn't let Bill finish. One of the only times Bill didn't mind that he didn't let him finish his statement. Since Stanley leaned in and pressed his lips against his. 

Bill was shocked, but quickly fell into the kiss. A hand reaching up to caress the others cheek. It wasn't what he expected from Stanley, but he accept it. How could he not? Stanley wasn't the only one with those feelings. Bill had felt feeling for Stan for a good 2 years now. He just chose to ignore them, but they just got stronger for the other. 

The kiss was cut short by Stanley pulling back. Bill watched closely and licked his lips. "I want to be more than friends too, Bill." Stanley told him. Hand resting on the others shoulder. Bill nodded slowly, still a bit dazed from the kiss. "Muh-mm-me too." He told him. Which made Stanley smile more. 

The two became more than friends. Boyfriends to be exact, so all was good, but Bill forgot to mention that night that he was moving within the next month to Portland. That he would move and forget. That within almost 6 months he would forget about the clown, and withing a year he would forget Stanley's name. Then within 2 years he would forget his face. Stanley doing the same after he moved as well. 

The day Bill left tears were shed. No one knew about their relationship besides themselves. Bill and Stan hung out everyday before he left. Holding onto one another, crying, not wanting to part ways. But the day came and Bill made a promise. "I-I'll never fuh-fff-forget about you, Stanley." He'd tell him, kissing his forehead. "Even i-if I fuh-ff-forget your fuh-face, or name, I-I'll remember your sm-smile, your l-laugh." He told him with a smile, kissing all over his face. Causing Stan to giggle. "Bill, you're such a fucking sap-" "Mm, th-thats why you luh-love me." Bill spoke. Wrapping his arms around his waist. Lifting him up in the air, then threw him on his bed. Bill flopping next to him. Both smiling and laughing and they faced one another. 

"I'll miss you, Bill." Bill nodded, leaning in and connected his lips with Stanley. "I'll muh-miss you too, St-Stan-Stanny." He spoke in a lowered tone. Moving his hair from his face. Kissing his nose which caused them both to chuckle. "I love you," Bill spoke without a stutter, Stanley smiling back, pecking his lips. "I love you too, Bill." "I'll send you letters, eh-every-everyday." Bill spoke and Stanley nodded with a grin. "Mhm, I'm sure you'll forget after a week." "Ah, you-you have so much fuh-faith in me." Bill spoke and Stanley sighed. Sitting ontop of the other. Kissing his lips and leaned down ontop his chest. "Just shut up and let me appreciate you for a moment." Stanley added, making Bill smile at him and nod. "You, kn-know.. I'll come buh-back for you, right. E-even if you m-move clear to uh-uh-Alaska." Bill teased. Laughing when Stan swatted at his chest and the both were smiling like idiots. "I'll remember that, Denbrough." Stan tittered. Kissing the other a final time.

Bill moved, and neither one forgot eachother. They may have forgotten names, and little details or faces, but they didn't forget their smiles. Their voices, some phrases. They would dream about one another, but wake up confused as to who that boy was they kept seeing in their dream. But they continued to have their nightmares. 

Stanley moved shortly after Bill, meaning he couldn't even get letters from Bill, because each letter Bill sent Stanley's parents would return to him. So after a moment. Bill just gave up. Plus with the move Bill would be sending it to someone he didn't know. Love letters sent to a stranger who would only pity him. 

But he never forgot. He had the letters he'd reread to remember. Finally sticking them in a box when he moved out. Which was when he forgot about them. Misplaced them. And the day Bill forgot who this Stanley Uris was. The boy in his dreams, the man he based a character off in his book. A man he loved and caused him to have no feelings for anyone he met, because they weren't this boy he dreamt about and grew to love. They weren't Stanley Uris. Not even his fiance Audra could replace this man in his dreams. The man he lived for just to see again. The man he flew clear back to Derry, Maine in hopes to hold at least one last final time.


End file.
